Dan's Extreme Bloggery

Marketing 'Slaughter is the Best Medicine'

2011-07-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

As Rishi Thaker, A.D. Barker and many other film makers will attest, shooting a feature film can take a few days if planned well. Editing it can take several months, especially when doing visual effects. 'Slaughter is the Best Medicine' has been a labour of love and something I personally am very proud of, as are the rest of the team. Now, we're very much in the marketing phase.

At every stage along the way, having no money to work with has been an issue and one that's hard to get around. Large companies would spend many thousands of pounds to promote a film, but we've only got what we can put together from our limited resources. However, using these small resources we've been looking at the best ways to push 'Slaughter' forward.

Step 1: The very first step of the process was to get our film listed on Internet Movie Database (IMDb). This is trickier than first thought. They need evidence that the film is not only real, but is commercially viable and or of note. By providing them with a plethora of information and proof that we didn't just pretend to make a film, they eventually listed the title, which was a great step forward.

Step 2: The second step has been to send the film to festivals that are appropriate to the genre. What we were unaware of was that we'd need a massive amount of material to go along with our submissions. Whenever we thought we'd got enough information or press material, we'd find another section of the application to fill in or another type of photo needed. Michael Spiby's documentary photography of the filming days and various promotional images has really helped. People need visuals to back up what they read and that's something we've learned greatly over the last few weeks.

Step 3: The third stage is to have our film reviewed. We took the bull by the horns, having two test screenings before completing the film, which meant that we could tweak things to suit the audience's view about certain areas. It was unavoidable that doing things on zero budget meant the quality of certain production areas would be lesser than most mainstream films; what we've achieved has consistently been judged not as a low budget 'effort', but as a solid piece that stands well next to high budget cinematic releases. Not all the reviews will glowing I'm sure, but it's important to approach criticism in a positive way and learn from anything constructive. This stage also involves speaking to the press, but generally they will only get in contact when something significant has already occurred for the film.

Step 4: When the film is on IMDb, shown at at least one festival and has some decent reviews, the fourth stage can begin; the distribution phase. This is potentially an organic process based on success at festivals. It's about giving distributors access to the film and proof that it's of high enough quality to be chosen by the industry professionals who judge the entries. Independent cinemas often accept films directly from film makers, as long as they have been successful with audiences at screenings and festivals. Breaking into the mainstream is difficult for most independents without the support of large production houses or millions of pounds to spend, which is why there is a divide between the two. Speaking to as many people as possible about the project and promoting by any means is the way to reach the right people. The right people being distributors of the appropriate genre who are willing to take a risk on an unknown film. It can and does happen, so this is one of the things that we're hoping for.

I always wondered why many films would take two years to make it into cinemas. It generally isn't that the film isn't complete; it's because there are so many pre-requisites along the way to distribution, not one of which can be ignored. So, it's a grindstone that I'm happy to have my nose to. There are rewards along the way for cast and crew alike, the first of which will undoubtedly be to have the film shown at a major festival in front of thousands of people. After all, the goal of making a film is to entertain audiences. Let's hope this four step process is one that will herald success over the coming year.

http://stickmenpictures.com/film_slaughter.html

Photographs by Michael Spiby (Copyright © Michael Spiby 2011).

Relationship-Speak for Dummies

2010-12-01T11:39:00.000-08:00

Relationships are a minefield and we're the sweepers. Sometimes things get a bit rocky because of miscommunication. If you're having trouble understanding what a partner means, hopefully the following phrases will help to make things a little more transparent.

"I've been thinking about things. (I've been talking to my friends)"

"I'm not sure we have enough time to commit to a relationship. (I feel neglected because you're not giving me enough attention)"

"I don't want to hurt you. (I have to be seen as a nice person)"

"I'm having problems seeing where this is going. (We've not established which 'phase' of the relationship we're in)"

"I don't see a future for us. (I'm psychic)"

"My friends say it won't work. (It's easier to let my friends make decisions for me)"

"We want different things. (You don't fit into my plans)"

"I'm not sure about anything right now. (My friends are making up their minds as to what I should do)"

"You're such a lovely person. (You're not exciting enough for me)"

"I just think it's bad timing for both of us. (I'm too busy for a relationship)"

"My ex is a really nice, so I don't want to hurt them. (I still love my ex)"

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. (I don't believe your compliment)"

"Your diet must be a challenge for you. (You're a nightmare to cook for)"

"I think we should just see how things go for a while. (I'm not going to be the one to break up, unless I have to)"

"My life is boring compared to yours. (You've got way too much going on for me)"

"I hadn't realised how important music is to me. (I hate that you don't share my taste in music)"

"I thought maybe we could go running together. (I'm lazy and want to use you as motivation)"

"I love you. (I'm assessing how much you want me)"

"I'm not going to tell my friends about us until I'm sure it's going to work. (I don't want my friends to see that I'm a user)"

"I need some time to sort my life out. (I can't be bothered with a relationship)"

"I'm just confused. (I'm not sure what I want)"

"I'm not sure what I want. (I'm interested in someone else)"

"It's wrong of me to mess you about like this. (I want your permission to be indecisive)"

"My friends are a little standoffish until they get to know you. (My friends don't like you)"

"I'm not sure that your friends like me. (I don't like your friends)"

"Be warned, I'm not very good at emotional stuff. (I'm likely to freak out unexpectedly)"

"I understand that everyone has their own way of doing things. (You're doing it wrong!)"

It's easy to become jaded when it comes to relationship problems or breakups, and it's impossible to avoid at least one complication along the way. On the bright side, if a relationship can weather the storm of misunderstandings and hurt feelings there will be hope that it will last.

Personally, my recent relationships haven't survived this difficult stage. It's like natural selection I guess. Survival of the fittest, or most resilient in this case. I'm no longer afraid of the challenge, but finding someone who won't back down when the going gets tough takes time me thinks. As for all those out there who are embarking on the storming stage... Good luck!

UPDATE: 1st Jan 2011 - To my immense surprise, I've found someone who is very much different from the nightmare partners described above. She's sweet, honest, witty, gorgous and doesn't play silly games. There is definitely hope for humanity! :D

Producing

2010-07-23T04:40:00.000-07:00

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It all began with a dream to make a feature film. I had a pretty good idea that it would be hard work. Now, having embarked on the journey, it's clear that it's not for the faint-hearted.

When Rishi showed me the treatment for 'Slaughter is the Best Medicine' back in May, I knew immediately that it would be our next project. It being feature-length meant that we'd have to approach it differently to a short film. I guess the main differences in general have been that the script is longer, there are more actors, more crew, more locations and the casting, rehearsals, pre-production, filming and editing take longer too.

A producer finds the cast, crew and equipment, organises the schedule, finds the money and maintains contact with everyone on the project so they know clearly what's going on. That's me. But I'm not alone in all this; Rishi is primarily the director, but he is also an excellent producer. We often organise things between us to share the load.

When we created our open invitation for people to audition, I had no idea that we'd get a hundred people responding. Suddenly we needed a venue for two days and a database to keep track of everyone's information. Many actors, especially ones who realised how far it would be to travel, dropped out before coming along for their audition, so that reduced the number. Then we sent out a message to everyone saying that we couldn't afford to pay them anything because we have no funding, so another load dropped out. That left thirty who turned up, which was far more managable.

Choosing an actor for each role was incredibly difficult. There were so many great actors and we spent a long time going through the audition tapes to decide who would be best. The thing about casting is that however well auditions are run and whatever the performance, it's always unfair. There will always be good actors turned away and that's a horrid fact. However, many of the actors who didn't get roles have been added to a list of potentials and we may well be calling on them for another film (or even for this one if more actors are needed).

Being at the centre of the project means a lot of phone calls. My last phone bill was shocking! Attempting to do everything over e-mail only works to a certain degree, so old-fashioned phoning is always necessary it seems. Using databases to organise the reams of information is essential, because trying to remember everything that needs doing would be impossible, for me at least. Also, a diary will save you from quadruple bookings if you write everything down. I'd say if you're lined up to go a concert or a party, write those in first before booking anything film related. I've been caught out by that one before...

Producing can be stressful when things aren't going to plan, but who ever said it would be a walk in the park? Actors can drop out; equipment can break; there's less money for things than you thought; the location gets demolished. Anything can and will go wrong at any time, however good the contingency plans. You just have to role with the punches, take a breath... and run away. I mean... get back up and continue.

It's important to take regular breaks, because producing can take over your whole life if you let it. Thinking about or doing something that's not film-related for a couple of hours is like a mini holiday. It's easy to neglect friends and family while working on an all-consuming project. Having a quiet drink sure would be hard if you also had to keep 30 plates spinning on poles in the beer garden, and that's a lot like producing.

Remembering to eat and drink can be tricky too. My metabolism is faster than a suped-up Mustang, so I usually eat throughout the day and still feel hungry. But when producing, I constantly find that I've skipped a couple of meals and haven't noticed. That's why I now have meal reminders on my phone. It's the only way!

On this kind of budget (zero), we're all multi-tasking, so I'll also be doing the camerawork and editing too. I love each of the jobs and like being a part of each stage of the process. Seeing something through is really important to me, as I know it is for Rishi. Each of us fills the gaps where something needs doing, which is what makes our team so special.

Rehearsals are underway at present and are going well. Filming begins in August. Fingers crossed for good weather!
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Smoking for money

2010-06-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

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Smoking is a strange one, everyone knows it. It provokes the strongest emotions, from euthoria to anger. And that's not just in people who do it.

Recently, I was asked to take part in a study into the effects of smoking on lifelong non-smokers. For £3900 - £5900 depending on the number of cigarettes I'd be willing to smoke, the study would last a year. The bioresearch company organising the trial had apparently cleared it through an ethics committee, something that I wonder about. For that amount of money, however harmful it could be to my health, I had a good think about whether or not I should do it.

I've sometimes wondered what it would be like to be a smoker. Some my friends who smoke are trying to quit, saying they wish they'd never started. When I ask why they began, they say it was a social habit or something to relieve stress. When without cigarettes for too long at a time, it must be quite a relief to finally have the thing you're hankering for; of course that would take away stress.

I can totally see the positive perceptions around smoking. Everyone all huddled together sharing a lighter. It's the most sociable of addictions. I could totally imagine myself, being such an outgoing kinda guy, lighting up a fag outside and chatting to friends. It makes sense and that's why I imagine it's such a habitual thing.

The downside, which I've only learned in detail after being offered the trial, is that it can involve some health issues. I'm told 1 in 5 deaths this year in the UK are attributed to smoking. And Formaldehyde is a standard ingredient, which I'm pretty sure is used to preserve dead bodies. Eww. The other ingredients are linked to illnesses like angina and strokes. I guess however much they'd pay me to start up, I'd maybe get addicted and have to quit, or I'd like it and carry on, potentially getting ill if the nay-sayers are to be believed.

A couple of friends who smoke have harranged me for even thinking about doing the trial. Even one who has no intention of quitting has said that I'd be stupid to start now. But they do choose to carry on the habit themselves, so it's hard for them to convince me it's so bad. Apparently it's the quitting that's the problem. It sounds easy on paper and I've never had a problem quitting a food or a drink before, even coffee, but I keep being told that it's a right ball ache to give up the cigs.

Many say it's hard for them to quit when their friends smoke, as they feel rude not going outside with the others or accepting the kind offer of a fag from a good friend. The number of doctors and nurses who warn a patient about smoking damaging their health, only to go outside and light one up themselves. Logical, intelligent people smoke, and I like to think I'd be one of them if I took it up.

Being an analytical soul, I've read a few things about the 'science'. Nicotine sends signals to the brain that are similar to being in love. People in love find it hard to control their chemical impulses. They'll defend their violent partner vehemently if someone suggests they ditch them. Even if they know their partner has the potential to kill them, they'll still exercise their personal choice to stay with with, providing a sense of control. I have no idea if I'd react that way to smoking if I had to quit. People tell me that quitting after smoking for some time would be harder than winning a ten month long fight with a demented but cuddly kangaroo on steroids.

As smokers are nowa minority in the country and are oppressed by rising prices and no smoking areas, it's becoming increasingly rebellious to do it which many people find exciting. The camaraderie must be very powerful, like with anything the government tells you you're not supposed to be doing.

And smoking is sexy, there's no denying it. The way those puffs goes up in the air is mesmerizing and works especially well in films. Movies never seem to show people turning their noses up at the smell or a non-smoker being repulsed by kissing a smoker. However hard people try to deny it, it will always be sexy. Campaigns that show diseased lungs and throat cancer only seem to repulse NON-smokers, who don't buy them anyway. Those kinds of images are shocking, but numbingly so, and I don't they're at all right for changing long-standing positive perceptions. In fact, they probably add to a feeling of persecution and spur people to carry on.

I know several people who have quit after a health issue has come up because of it, or the health of a loved one. However, my grandma smoked heavily for over sixty years and was fairly healthy all-in-all until she died. There must be loads of people who smoke and lead a long happy life. It is a risk, but everyone has to choose how acceptable that risk is to them personally. After all, you could drink calcium-rich milk and eat your five veg a day, only to be run over by a milk float or beaten to death with a marrow. Who knows what's round the corner even if you are health conscious.

In conclusion, based on advice from smokers and non-smokers alike, I've decided not to do the trial. I think anyone who smokes should carry on if they genuinely enjoy it and should only quit if it's what they want for themselves. So, puff away, or don't puff away. Either way, I hope you lead a long, healthy and happy life ;)
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Curse of the second date

2009-09-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? You've had a lovely first date with a nice girl and she said she wants to meet again. There was a mutual attraction and it couldn't have been more relaxed if Barry White himself had been singing playing just for you.

Now, onto the next meeting. You know they want to meet up again, so that's not an issue, but this stage is a minefield and a million things can throw a potential relationship in the garbage. Firstly, it should be nice and relaxed. What's worse than a tense situation, especially when romance is involved?

Sometimes it's just bad luck or circumstance. For instance, I had a great date with a girl first time around, going out for drinks and then to the cinema. It was relaxed and fun. We met again a week later, but this time I'd suffered a bereavement. I had considered putting the date off until I was feeling more like myself again, but she was going away on holiday and wanted to see me before she went. So, I was hoping for a quiet drink to suit my mood, but she was in the mood for a buzzing social time and playing pool with strangers. It was frustrating that she wasn't willing to compromise a little to suit what I needed, but it was a second date and she didn't have to put up with me feeling down. I think it's good to find out early on if someone is unwilling to deal with someone else's vulnerability, because it could become relevant further down the line.

Recently, I had a lovely first date with a girl who came across as outgoing and fun. We went for a few drinks at a pub and were totally buzzing in each other's company. It was the perfect date in every way; we were both relaxed and totally on the same wavelength. But, the second date... She hadn't had much sleep the night before, she'd had a terrible day at work and she was in the process of moving house. Her way of coping with this scenario was to talk, a lot. Unfortunately, what she talked about included her previous relationships, mistakes she'd made in her life and her stressful job. I tried to steer the conversation towards something more positive, but she related everything back to the past and seemed to put a negative spin on everything. It became a little tiring for me to listen to such things, when I was hoping for a light-hearted time.

I remembered the other date when I was the one feeling tired and down. When vulnerability is thrown into the mix so early in the getting-to-know-each-other process, it can be extremely hard to keep the momentum going. I found myself trying to get a word in, as she began a torrent of self-esteem bashing, bad jokes and closed questions about my ex-girlfriends. When she finally ran out of steam and allowed me time to talk, there wasn't a lot I felt like saying. It was as if she'd put her heart on the table and bashed it with a stick. I found myself trying to be positive and offering advice about how to learn from life mistakes.

It's very revealing to see how people act when they're tired or stressed. Perhaps the answer is to put a date off until both parties are feeling more relaxed and can give a better impression of themselves. I was considering whether it was worth meeting up with her again, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she then decided to tell me she was hung up on her ex and wasn't ready to date. It's mad how the same person can have such an opposing mindset on two different occasions.

Perhaps second dates aren't actually cursed, but they are certainly difficult to get right. I think the answer is to release any expectations. So many people, including me, often feel pressure during a second date because, if you like the other person, that's when hope for a relationship can start to build. Keeping things casual for longer is a way to make sure that neither person feels that kind of needless pressure. I respect any couple who have managed to get through a second date; they've managed to get beyond something truly baffling!
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Dance fever

2009-08-31T16:54:00.001-07:00

It was bank holiday Sunday and town was heaving. I was only going to have a few quiet drinks with friends, but the atmosphere was great and we continued to several bars. After a while, we decided to go to The Royal, a club with a couple of dance rooms. It was a one-in-one-out scenario by the time we got there, so it was a forty minute wait. Three drunken women in their thirties scraped their way along the wall to jump the queue, thinking themselves really clever. I don't think they realised exactly how long they'd have to wait though, because after a few minutes they sheepishly walked back to join their friends. I guess people can only be glared at for so long before buckling under the pressure.

The few staff in the club were running around trying to do every job in a hurry, including taking people's coats, collecting glasses and serving drinks at the bar. It was manic.

I was totally in the mood for dancing and was itching to get my groove on. It was nice to stand by the bar to chat with friends and get to know a couple of friends-of-friends, but I found myself waiting there while the others took it in turns to go to the toilet or out for a cigarette. It got a bit tedious because no one wanted to dance. Being a brave kinda guy, I decided to go and dance on my own. Now, the aforementioned idea works well in theory, but I've realised a few minor issues when attempting the dancing-on-your-own thing...

Mostly, other people are having a good time too and don't really notice another person getting down on the dance floor. But then there are a few people who do notice and react in varying ways. For instance, a couple of guys came up to me and jabbered at me about dancing on my own.

Lone dancing is often tricky during a busy night, because there's no one to face, and that means you're bound to end up dancing behind someone. I found myself in such a position with three girls. One of them started dancing backwards, nearly treading on my feet. I thought initially that she just needed more room to groove and that I was in the way, but then I saw her friends guiding her towards me and winking. She kept checking behind her to see where I was before taking another step. If a guy were to dance up to a girl like that, she'd push him away, thinking he was rude or too drunk to know where he was, so why can girls get away with it?!

I've found myself in this position a few times before. It's happened when I've had a girlfriend, which, being a loyal kinda guy, meant I had to avoid all contact with the incoming girl completely or make a semi-insane face to put her off. Other times, like on this occasion, I've been single and vaguely open to such things. I love dancing with girls face-to-face, but when they're dancing backwards at me it's a whole different thing. Sometimes they obviously try to get my attention by glancing over their shoulder and doing that flicky thing with their eyelashes. That makes it easier to know what they want and have a great dance with them. But, they run a mile if you initiate a dance before they've done their whole dance-introduction thing. Also, if you don't signal interest in dancing with them when they want or expect it, they think you're not interested, get disheartened and go off to the toilets to be consoled by their girlfriends.

To cut a long story short, having paid good money to get in the club, I just wanted to have a great dance and couldn't even pretend to be bothered about playing complex dancefloor girl games. If a girl makes less than half the effort, there's no point.

My friends were still around the bar or outside having a cigarette and I couldn't convince any of them to come have a boogie. I got talking to a girl at the cloakroom, while waiting ages to get someone to take my coat. She insisted I dance with her and her friends, which was nice. It's rare to meet people in clubs who just like to have a dance and a laugh, without all the cattle market shenanigans that often get irritating.

After finally having a good old boogie, I thought it was about time to leave, so I went to get my coat from the cloakroom. I was ignored by various members of staff while trying to get their attention, probably because they were overly busy and stressed by the bank holiday madness. After fifteen minutes, with no staff in sight, I decided to go in the back room and get my coat myself. A girl in a skimpy black dress followed me in there, saying she was looking for her coat too. The second the door closed she kissed me full on the lips, thanked me for the aforementioned kiss, said goodbye and walked off. Cheeky. If I did that to a girl, I'd get slapped!

It's lucky I was single when that random girl decided to kiss me, because there's no excuse for cheating (which is what I'd consider a kiss like that to be) and I would have had to stop her in her tracks. People are so quick to blame their actions on alcohol, as if it bypasses their moral code, or maybe their moral code is just rubbish, either way. I'll write more about my views on loyalty in a relationship in another blog when I'm actually in a relationship :)

It took me a while to walk home because I kept seeing people I knew, all of whom wanted me to go clubbing with them. If they'd been out earlier I would have gone along, but by that point I was knackered and had run out of money. Not a bad night really. I got a random kiss, so I can't complain.
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Packing heat

2009-08-20T16:12:00.000-07:00

It was a warm weekend and I did a long shift as a postal sorter for a random company. The other agency workers and I were greeted by a woman who had booked twice as many staff than were needed. She rambled at us unintelligibly for twenty seconds, all the time wearing earplugs so she couldn't hear herself or us, then assigned each of us to another staff member and walked off mumbling to herself. In hindsight, she could have been someone off the street, rather than anyone in charge.

I was put with a guy who was sorting letters in a specified order. It was quite a challenge to find and sort all the missing numbers between two hundred boxes of paper, but he had worked out a logical system that made sense and he taught it to me. It was a bit like reorganising a library, if libraries could be turned upside down a few times. Then I was left on my own to carry on the job, which I had only just learned how to do.

I wasn't aware of having met a manager yet, but, given no other information at all, I thought that copying the person who showed me how to do the job was a good plan. Things were going okay until someone came up to me and said I should put the letters in the boxes in any order so they could be counted. I said I was told to file them in order. He insisted I was wrong. Having just spent six hours sorting all the numbers carefully, I thought it was worth checking with the manager, but no one knew where the hell she was. I was inundated with various staff members telling me the job needed to be finished within the next two hours and that the numbers only had to be roughly within a thousand of the mark. Some said that the letters were to be shipped out in the morning, others didn't know, but all agreed that the job had to be done and dusted quickly.

I became aware at this point that the job itself was to put the letters in order again after someone else had muddled them up. Some of the envelopes had footprints on the them... A couple of other agency workers were assigned to the same job as me. They proceeded to randomly put letters in whichever box was closest. Papers were flung around and bent in the wrong places; a total contrast to the care I'd taken earlier with the first colleague dude. All those hours of cataloguing were instantly void, so I resigned myself to doing what I was repeatedly told by the hoards of 'people in charge'. Everything was stuffed in boxes and sealed. The sheets of paper detailing what was in each box were screwed up and thrown away, leaving no way to know where anything was.

That's when the manager, who I hadn't met until then, appeared out of the ether to check on the work. Of course, she wanted the letters in the right order because that was the only way to know what was in the boxes. Instead of trying to work out the best course of action, she had a go at us for mucking it up and went off in a huff. It's baffling to me for a manager to hide somewhere for several hours, leaving all her employees to work out blindly what they're meant to be doing and then leave it right to the end to check what's happening in her workplace. The agency workers seemed to get the blame whenever anything went wrong, and perhaps at times it was true, but the real fault seemed to be with the manager who couldn't find her own leg if her hands were tied to it.

I wonder how many hours are spent correcting mistakes resulting from mindless workers and incompetent managers. It seems mad to employ so many people for so many hours to do something that could have simply been done properly the first time. The sad is that not enough people care if they do a job right. Some people seem happy to muck up a job and do it all over again, as long as they're paid to do it and they have a bumbling boss to blame. Then again, for those hours, I was a cog in the malfunctioning machine, so perhaps I'm not entirely blameless.
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Making 'The Chasist'

2009-07-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

The BBC are premiering 'The Chasist', a music video that I made with Rishi Thaker, a fantastic director and a great friend. It'll be shown on Derby's Big Screen in the town centre, which will be perfect for the number of people who have shown an interest in being there. This also means a bit of preparation, including the promotion of the event on Radio Derby. The Telegraph are usually pretty good at coming along to local interest events and East Midlands Today sometimes get in on the action.

The initial idea came about when Rishi and I listened to 'Masquerade' by Fluyd, a talented group from Luxembourg. Rishi had a chat with Jeff Seyler about the possibility of using the song to create a music video based in and around Derby, an idea that Jeff and the band were happy to go with.

Showing Derby as a city in transition was important to both me and Rishi. We wanted to create an enjoyable showcase to take in the full cityscape. This idea evolved into a six minute sequence that would take Nigel Woodings' character from one side of the city to the other. He chases a masked tormentor who poses the question, "Do you want to know the future?". He gives chase on foot, soon escalating into a car chase. We planned this section very carefully because we had to keep to speed limits and think about safety. We made full use of a suction mount, attaching the camera to various parts of the cars. The more angles you get, the more there is to play with in the edit, which is especially important for a frantic narrative.

The incorporation of free-running elements during certain sections of the video has created a nice dynamic that was greatly needed. James Fogerty stepped in as the masked free-runner, after a couple of false starts by other athletes. Injuries and time constraints do seem to be a regular occurence in a sport such as theirs. It was such a good feeling to fill in the missing scenes so that we had everything we needed.

The weather didn't help as it changed from day to day, creating all kinds of filming issues and leading to colour matching problems during the edit. It's lucky that I enjoy hours of colour editing! If people don't even mention the editing after watching something I'm worked then I feel like I've done my job right. I did the camerawork too, so it's only when people critique the choice of shots and camera angles that I start to fret!

I took a back seat on the producing side for this project and concentrated fully on the cinematography and editing. Rishi has worked hard to keep everything going and he deserves much credit for his multitasking. I'll get the producing hat on again soon, now that I have more time.

It'll be amazing to see it on the big screen knowing the amount of work that the crew and cast have put into it. Doing things on a low budget is often tricky because there are only a few special souls who will work for free with the belief that the project might go somewhere. The aim is to obtain funding for future projects so that we can pay everyone a fair wage for their time and effort. The people who have given their time already will be the first on the list, whether they know it or not. It's pretty unusual to include end credits on a music video, but that's what we've done for ours. It's only a small gesture, but Rishi and I see it as important.

It'll be great to have friends coming along to watch. I'll bring my camera to document the event for the Stickmen Pictures website. As it's outdoors, hopefully the weather will hold for us. If not, it'll just be the really dedicated who come along... Fingers crossed for a nice evening!
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The Devil's Arse

2009-07-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

Bee and Jak set up a great trip to Edale in the Peaks at the weekend, renting a bunk house and sorting out some extremely good food. There were sixteen of us and everyone got on great, which was lucky!

On Saturday, we went to Castleton and had a tour around a cave system called the Devil's Arse. It's called that because of the sound it used to make when air was forced through a narrow gap by water. Increased drainage through effective mining during the early 19th century (thanks for the information Nommie!) stopped the noise happening though. Various production companies have shot films and programmes in the caves and I could see why. It's a great location and I might keep it in mind for future projects.

The tour guide, a woman who managed to achieve an impressive number of decibels, demonstrated how to make a rope and then gave us the grand tour of the cave. People used to enter the caves in a boat that looked more like a horse trough through gaps no bigger than the boat itself. In the pitch black that's really gotta freak you out. There were paints on a table by the entrance, most likely for kids. There was no notice to say that adults couldn't use them, so I did a painting of what I'm calling the Devil's Arse Cave Bug, hehe.

Anyone who is on my school boy level of humour might appreciate the following cave instructions:

"Short stay available nearby. No parking in the Devil's Arse."

"The Devil's Arse provides food and beverages."

"Video cameras must not be turned on while entering or inside the Devil's Arse."

"Don appropriate footwear to avoid slipping in wet holes."

"Photographing the Devil's Arse is permitted, but flashing is not allowed."

We had an awesome barbeque in the evening, expertly manned by Wayne. I brought some gluten-free roles, so as to seamlessly join in with the highly tasty eatings. It's the first time I've had a decent burger in ages. Mmm...

Mike showed us how to play a game called 'Mafia', which involves randomly selecting two or three people by choosing playing cards. Everyone closes their eyes while the Mafia silently agree on an innocent to murder, then the group has to work out who the Mafia are. It's a great game, though I did get killed off pretty quickly almost every time. People had different strategies, including accusing everyone else, being as quiet as possible and sometimes playing highly complex mind games to win at all costs. It was a huge amount of fun, even when Bee got me killed off at every opportunity.

There were a lot of great walks and I really enjoyed the company. Lots of photos too!

The Devil's Arse website: www.devilsarse.com
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Michael Jackson

2009-07-23T02:57:00.000-07:00

Whether mourning the death of a star or getting annoyed at the excessive press coverage, the whole world seems to have been affected by the news of Michael Jackson's passing. His life was not conventional in any sense and even in death he is not free from comprehensive speculation and criticism.

There are a great number of jokes going around about Michael's death. Some are funny, some aren't. Laughing at tragic news can be a way of broaching a subject and trying to understand it better. There were jokes about the World Trade Center in 2001, very soon after the two buildings were destroyed by terrorists and thousands of people killed. Perhaps a reaction to a situation, whether it's laughter or outrage, is better than no reaction at all. Some countries don't give people the right to speak so freely on taboo subjects, so comedians in America and England etcetera are lucky.

We all know what tends to happen to people who are famous from a young age. It makes living a normal life impossible. How a person deals with fame varies. Drew Barrymore rose to fame as the little girl in E.T. and went through years of being pretty mucked up, but she managed to turn things around and get back into acting on her own terms. However hard it must have been for Michael to live consistently in the public eye, he kept on performing and giving the fans what they wanted, but the detriment to his personal life is evident. Developing true friends and connections would have been near impossible when surrounded by security staff twenty-four hours a day. It's hard to imagine what it would be like to be in such a position.

As to whether or not Michael was involved with children in a way that wasn't appropriate, I don't know. No one knows, or may ever know, except for the man himself and the children who spent time with him. I want to believe that he simply enjoyed the company of children in an innocent sense, but there's no way to know either way. He was cleared of all charges after numerous lawsuits, so at least the law believes him.

His death has a lot of question marks around it and that's no surprise. His life was extra-ordinary by definition and his last hours are no exception, including the fact that he was fit and healthy practising for a show the day before and the disappearance of his personal physician on discovery of his body. Since then, many 'sightings' of Michael's ghost have been revealed, one of which was apparently filmed by CNN in a documentary tour of Neverland Ranch. It's open to opinion whether the footage was tampered with or whether it was just a shadow of a passing crew member, but many people are certainly up for believing it was supernatural. There was a guy who said he took a photo of his car to sell it on eBay, noticing a cloud that looked like Michael in the reflection on the bonnet. I've looked closely at the picture and can see a rectangular border around the edge of the cloud where someone has obviously Photoshopped it in. The sky colour isn't even the same... Nice try though. I guess there's a need for fans to keep him alive any way they can, or perhaps some obsessive people have convinced themselves he's not really gone.

The main thing to remember is that not many people knew the real man. The only sense that we, the public, can obtain of him is from his music. Surely everyone in the world, bar a few isolated tribes, must have heard one or more of his songs. 'Billie Jean' or 'Beat it', 'Earth song' or 'Thriller', there are so many tunes that made it into the public arena and have stayed there ever since. Even though the man is gone, the fans still have his music. And the people who enjoy mocking him will still be able to, as there will be stories about him for years to come.
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Driving over toes

2009-07-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

I've just finished my second day of driving work at a car auction. I've always enjoyed driving, so doing it all day long isn't too taxing. Having only driven automatics a couple of times, it was a bit of a challenge to get used to the clutchless situation of some of the vehicles. Because I'm new to the job, I'm still seen as the rookie and I only seem to ask silly questions or make minor blunders when the boss is watching. Always the way.

The job is to drive cars through a rostrum area at a very low speed, where people can have to look at them. An auctioneer takes the highest bid from the gannet-like crowd, then the car needs to be driven out to a parking area and the keys returned to the office. During the lead up to the bidding area, people often walk right across in front of the cars. They're meant to keep behind a yellow safety lines, but not many seem to obey the rules. If someone gets their toes run over, at least they were warned repeatedly beforehand, but I've been doing my best to avoid it if at all possible. It can be a little disconcerting when people want to turn the steering wheel, open the doors, rearrange the seats, pop the hood to see the engine, try out the radio, the air conditioning, the windows, etc, all while I'm driving the car through the hall.

It's crazy driving so many different types of car in one day. Within a few seconds of being given the keys, it's necessary to assess the vehicle as entirely as possible. It could be any shape or size, manual or automatic, with or without central locking (central locking that works at least). I had no idea just how many kinds of key there are now. There are the standard keys that I'm used to, keys that flip out from the fob Swiss Army style and strange-shaped keys that look more like the end of a cigarette lighter. Then there are key cards that need to be inserted into a slot by the radio and then a 'Start' button needs to be pressed where the key would usually go.

Smart cars generally have an ignition keyhole under the handbrake. They're kind of eerie to drive because they don't have much of a bonnet and it's a bit like hovering over the road. They're like those little toys that come out of Kinder Eggs, but are spacious enough as long as you don't load the car with more than a passenger and a small tin of tuna.

The speed limit on site is 10 mph whether it's a Fiat Cinquicento, a Ford Focus or a Lamborghini Diablo, so restraint is a must. When driving around thirty cars in a day, there are bound to be a couple of Ferraris in the mix. Not a bad job for a car lover :)
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Detour

2009-07-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Normally it would take me twenty minutes to walk into town, but an inner ring road must have appeared when I wasn't looking.

I had some pretty major dental surgery this morning, which at present is causing me even more pain. Argh. I was told I needed to take my borrowed work boots back to the agency in town, so I set off, dosed up with antibiotics, pain killers and a few swigs of gin to numb the pain.

I could see the area I needed to get to, but it seemed that builders had been busy closing every through-road. I walked by the side of the building works over the brow of the hill, seeing that the works went on even further. Road after road was closed, but I was sure it couldn't be much longer. It turned out to be over half a mile. The throbbing in my face was getting a bit much by this point, but I was nearly there anyway.

Derby always seems to have roadworks going on. A friend mentioned that they'd seen the plans for the inner ring road and said they were alarmed at the number of roads that will be turned into dead ends. At least these routes should be accessible on foot when the works are finished, but I don't know what driving will be like with the new system in place. I'm tempted to say it would be better to leave Derby's roads alone, but I suppose that traffic will benefit in the long term. I won't talk about the one-way systems that are already in place because it would put off anyone thinking that a visit to Derby is a good idea...

Anyway, I walked up to the desk at the agency with five minutes to spare and proudly announced that I was returning the boots as requested. The guy had a word with his colleague and then handed the boots back to me, saying, "It's cool; you can keep them."

Twenty-twenty vision hindsight tells me that I could perhaps have phoned them to check about the boots before embarking on what turned out to be a sixty-minute round trip (due partially to hobbling around in a pain-dazed state). At least I got a free pair of steel toe-cap boots out of it :)

Carrying things

2009-07-15T14:19:00.001-07:00

The kind people at the agency got me some work with a removal company today. This involved moving a whole family's belongings, including all their furniture, up several flights of stairs. The people themselves were very friendly and it was a pleasure to help them out. The job itself was one of the most grueling days I've ever had, but I'm sticking to the fact that I need to do anything I can to get me some money.

Having been kept up for a second night with severe toothache, I felt like pulling off my head and drop-kicking it out the window. Not the best start to the day. Still, the aforementioned prospect of carrying heavy things for a few hours actually seemed quite appealing; anything to take my mind off the tooth pain. The other removal guys were good to work with, each of them grafting as hard as the other. It's always good when the other workers pull their weight. There's nothing worse than a member of a team sitting around while all the work is done.

It became a test of stamina towards the end of the six hours, as three of us were left there to complete the job and all of us were feeling the pain. It being a warm day n' all, we were all soaked head-to-toe in sweat and refused to quit even when we all found it hard to stand, let alone carry more boxes. We must have each carried items up the six flights of stairs 200 times. One more box... One more box... Sheesh. I've never appreciated tea breaks quite as much as today.

Any given day I could be doing camerawork, editing, delivery work, retail, or anything else the agency has to offer. And I'm also training to be a driving instructor, which will become my staple income when I'm qualified. I'm lucky having such a varied work life. It's far easier for me to put every effort into a job knowing that the next job will be completely different.

Making a point of doing manual work that makes you sweat negates the need to go to the gym. It's a full body work out carrying heavy things around, especially up stairs. It's a nice change to do that kind of work sometimes, but doing it every day must be a true test of strength, stamina and patience. I'm happy to work with the same guys again if they offer more work. And, hopefully, next time I won't have to take my mind off this gosh darn toothache!

Guitar Hero

2009-07-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Used by musicians and non-musicians alike, Guitar Hero is one of the most played games in the country. Some say that the game is highly similar to playing an actual guitar and others scoff at this notion. Many real guitar players seem to get irritated by non-musicians claiming that they are playing actual music using only the buttons of a plastic xbox guitar. After all, it's just a silly game, right?

Saying that, many people who have never picked up an instrument of any kind before have been given the chance to become music legends in their own home. Air guitar has never been so good. The Guitar Hero format is challenging and addictive in its own right with thousands of people all over the world rockin' out to all kinds of familiar tunes. It's amazing to see people begin the game with little or no sense of rhythm and go on to complete the solo career on Expert. Music takes so many forms and who's to say it's not real music that gamers are creating. After all, if you muck up the notes they make a sound like a duck choking, kind of like playing an actual instrument.

I guess the thing about any simulator is that it's a skill in its own right. After all, not everyone has the kind of job where it's necessary to blow up aliens with laser guns or fly planes like Maverick in Top Gun. Also, no one can dispute that it takes a lot of practice to get good at something, whether it's a game or a real-life skill.

So what do I think about the Guitar Hero phenomenon? I'm a guy who can hold a basic tune on an acoustic or electric guitar, so I'd consider myself a semi-musician. I feel that learning new songs and appreciating the artistry behind them is something that everyone could benefit from, musicians or not. Throughout the course of the career mode, it's likely that everyone will come across at least one song they've not heard before, which can only be a good thing. And the artists receive good publicity having their songs available for anyone to play along to. Surely everyone's a winner, royalties galour!

When I managed to get through my first song on Expert, I fell to the floor in relieved joy like I'd just won the Wimbledon final. I didn't do such a thing even after braving my first real-life open mic set. There's something highly fulfilling about mastering a song, whether it's on an 'actual' or a 'fake' guitar.
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Kickboxing

2009-07-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

Coming back to kickboxing after an eight month break was certainly a shock to the system. Even though I've been going swimming and running, my fitness levels were tested for sure. The warm up varies, but generally includes running, sit ups, push ups, star jumps and sprinting on the spot.

There were very few familiar faces, but everyone was as friendly as ever. They run children's classes and the adult group has a good spectrum of men and women. Kickboxing is certainly a sport that attracts testosterone-filled guys who love pounding an opponent in the ring, but more commonly people are there to keep fit and have fun. I'm definitely in the later category. Kicking the punch bags is my favourite thing, especially the ones where you take off from the ground and kick more than once. I couldn't imagine delivering a full-power kick to a person, unless they'd just killed and eaten my family or something. The idea of punching genuinely nice people seemed a little strange to me at first, but I suppose that is what the sport is about.

I've got a little more used to sparring since I first started. I'm still at a stage where I hit more lightly than necessary to make sure I don't hurt the other person. I would say I punch like a girl, but most girls punch harder than me, so it wouldn't be quite true.

In terms of actual fights I've been in, there really haven't been many. Being the tallest kid in school meant that lots of the boys would have a go at me verbally, but it was rare for someone to start an actual fight. It was always the same format. One: they would punch or kick me to provoke a reaction. Two: I would say, "If you hit me again, I'm going to kick you". Three: if they decided to hit me again I'd kick them hard in the shin. This would inevitably cause them to fall to the floor crying, which I guess I saw as their own fault for not listening. It's always easier to hit someone after they've already hit you. It's feels more like fair play. Cause and effect.

This permission seems to apply to fighting sports of any kind. It's not likely that sparring partners will punch each other as hard as the possibly can. However, if one person starts hitting a little harder than before it provides a kind of permission for the other person to hit harder too. I guess that's how you get used to taking such ferocious punches. If every punch you receive is a tiny bit harder, you don't really notice it.

I admire people who can step into the ring knowing that the other person has most likely reached a stage where they can take any punch that you can throw. That's a scary prospect. It means a fight goes on for a while and a boxer will have to take numerous blows to the head in order to stay in the fight long enough to win. I salute you, you brave souls.

Maybe one day I'll want to get in the ring to give someone a pounding (or most likely get pounded), but for now I think I'll stick with doing it to keep fit. Punch bags don't mind when I go all fire-fists on them, so that's good enough for me.
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Alone in the dark

2009-07-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

It was my dream as a kid to have my very own cinema to use whenever I liked. This dream has manifested since a mega multi-level multiplex opened in the city centre. The out-of-town cinemas have become as empty as tennis courts in the rain. The benefits of going to the less-frequented movie machines are numerous. One: there's often absolutely no one there. Two: parking is never an issue. Three: there's nobody to laugh at you if you start crying at the sad bits.

There's something extremely eerie about an empty place at night. Perfect for watching a horror film, with moments of tension punctuated only by faint explosion-booms from the screen next door. One time, while watching 'Aliens VS Predator: Requiem' (someone had to watch it..), a couple of kids came in the fire escape and started making alien sounds in the exit corridor. They must have felt quite pleased with their xeno-foolery. Little did they know I was sneaking past the screen with my arsenal of predator noises and unusually large teeth brandished. The speed at which they exited the building made me realise that even the simplist of real-life frights outshone anything offered by the movie.

It's strange how such a large room can become very much like your own living room when there's no one else there. While watching 'Next' starring the immortal Nick Cage, a guy shuffled into the back row with his girlfriend. They didn't notice me initially, so it was a little awkward when they started desperately fondling each other. Just as I heard an unzipping sound, the guy looked up and noticed me, exclaiming, "For God's sake, not again!" I'm not sure of the subtext of the exclamation, but I can speculate that they were hoping for slightly more ideal 'public-place privacy'. I guess they had to put up with actually watching the movie they'd paid to see, which thankfully turned out to be an all right Cage caper.

I would recommend going to the cinema on your own as I do, but I've decided you're not allowed to. If you were there too, like the alien kids and the young couple, I won't be alone. So stay away from neglected cinemas. They're all mine! :)
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Doctor's orders

2007-06-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

Do you think it strange for a doctor to tell you to make yourself ill? Well, that's what happened to me recently. Okay, it's not quite as it sounds. There is a purpose to the 'ill on demand' thing.

I've been avoiding gluten (wheat, barley and rye) for about two and half years, because whenever I eat anything with those ingredients in I get a stomach ache, mouth ulcers, constricted throat, etcetera. Since I was a kid, whenever I ate those foods, which was all the time, I felt lethargic and hungry, even if I'd just eaten a huge meal. Coeliac Disease, which is what the specialist hospital dude thinks I've got, causes all these kinds of problems, so I'm kinda hoping it's definitely that, just so I know. I have an even worse reaction to oats, so flapjacks are tempting but painful :S

Since giving it up and getting it totally out of my system, I've felt great. I feel like Superman in comparison, but it was normal for me to feel wiped out all the time. I've lived a great deal of my life feeling tired and drained, not feeling able to do all kinds of normal things that involve energy.

I was told that I would have to go back on the gluten for six months to prove that it makes me ill. I had to decide when would be a good time to be ill again, but there really was never a good time, so I just carried on avoiding it. The benefit of doing this though is to get a season ticket for prescription food because gluten-free stuff is so darned expensive. So, I've decided that there will never be a good time but that it has to be done. I've been back on it for two weeks and some good news is they only need me to do it for another four weeks, rather than the full six months.

The problem is no one can tell how I'm feeling, as it's not something obvious. I feel lousy, but I tend to be all smiles. It does get to me sometimes when a friend says, "But I thought it was meant to make you ill..." I hate explaining all the ins and outs of the disease every time because it gets boring. If someone doesn't understand after three or four times of explaining it, I just let them believe I'm a naturally knackered and drained 'healthy person'.

I'm trying to do the things I normally do, like performing at the open mic and going for acting auditions. With my throat closing up, it's kinda hard to project my voice. It's just more of an effort, but I'm sort of glad people don't really notice I'm suffering. I hate feeling like an invilid, so it can be better if they think I'm fine. I guess it's like a swan gliding along smoothly on the surface while paddling like a bandit under the water. That's the only comparison between myself and a swan. I'm not one for wearing feathers!

At least this time I know it's not forever. I know I can recover from the bad stuff. It might take a couple of months to get it out of my system, but I'm sure I can return to feeling like Superman again. The only thing I wanna know is: Where the hell is Lois?!
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